This is not a power rant or a woman power post. Rather, it is a glimpse into the reality that is being a woman in today’s society. In my opinion this post is about helping women be who they really are instead of trying to be something or someone that is always guarded and protected.
I recently read a blog post by a man titled, “Seeing A Woman: A conversation between a father and a son”. You can find the article here: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.Bnp0JVln.dpbs In a nutshell this man has a talk with his son about the importance of not objectifying women and that it’s okay to look at them but not to treat them like a piece of meat. It’s a good read and goes right along with the social experiment that I just did.
For 10 days I went without any makeup. I wore my hair up in a pony tail and refused to put on a touch of makeup. The purpose was to see NOT how many men noticed but rather how many WOMEN noticed.
I then posted this picture on one of my social media sites proclaiming that I had been makeup free for so many days, etc. The majority of the people, mainly men, stated that makeup was overrated. And they are right. But that wasn’t the most astounding part of this study.
The most interesting thing that I took away from this was that women were much more receptive to me as a person. They wanted to talk to me and there wasn’t any type of hesitation in approaching me. Women that wouldn’t normally stop for conversation all of a sudden were interested in what I was all about.
This is nothing new to me. I have a lot of male friends. In fact for my entire life the majority of my friends have always been males. Of course there have been a few females in there that I have gotten close to but it’s nothing like having male friends. I noticed back than that when my male friends acquired new girlfriends those girlfriends were comfortable being around me in a relaxed setting. However, put us all in a situation where we are out in a social setting and suddenly the girlfriends think that you are trying to sleep with their men. Mainly because instead of being in relaxed, non-threatening situation we are all suddenly in a situation where we as women feel like we have to be on high alert for any chick who we feel could be a threat to our existence.
Here’s what I have to say to that. It is the strangest WTF moment of all time! If I choose to go out in public looking like this:
there should be absolutely no reason that any other woman around me needs to be feel threatened. But that’s not the case. And I’m not saying that’s the case because I think that I’m beautiful, I’m saying in general other women are threatened by women who look well put together. They never stop to think that maybe other women want to do their makeup and hair because it makes them feel good, not because they are out on the prowl looking to steal someone’s man away from them.
The most fucked up thing about all of this is that as a society we blame men for this type of behavior. Men are constantly being blamed for ogling women and “objectifying” them. In fact I can’t tell you how many women I have heard say that if it wasn’t for men setting such high standards we wouldn’t have the epidemic of eating disorders and plastic surgery. Body distortion would be non-existent if men would just stop setting the bar so high right?
In fact, that is far from the truth. Women do this shit to themselves. I am very comfortable with who I am. I am comfortable with or without makeup, I am comfortable in social settings with other men and women. The best part is I’m comfortable enough to know that my husband can go out for a night on the town with his buddies with a bunch of women around and know that no matter what, he’s coming home. I know that no matter what I look like I have a happy, healthy home where body image and makeup do not justify my relationship with the people around me. I also know that I can go out with all my makeup done and my hair done or I can go out plain as could be and the outcome will always be the same. I’m always going to come home. I’m not out searching for anything else.
Society is sick. When you Google fat celebrity women this is what you get:
This is what society deems as “fat” women. Are you fucking kidding me? They look like women to me. With curves and a body…
I think that as women we need to take a long hard look at ourselves and ask if our feelings of insecurity are real or something that is created by a society that has made it okay. A society that has virtually destroyed the joys of being a woman and made it nearly impossible to feel good about being a woman. Society and the media has also unwittingly destroyed relationships by making women jealous and suspicious of anyone who looks sideways at their men or vice-versa.
I think that it’s high time that the women of today’s generation do a study of the women of the 1950′s. The only thing that they had to worry about back than was being too skinny. Yes, you heard that right:
Gain 10 pounds to wear a swim suit?! Unheard of in this society!
Holy shit! At one time it was actually okay to have curves!
Be confident! Be yourself! And for fucks sake, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and for the love of Christ stop thinking that everyone is out to destroy you. That is the most ugly thing about you, trust me. You are who you are no matter what you look like. You don’t change as a person when you wear your makeup and do your hair. Just be real!